Do you want more security or more agency?

One thing's for sure, and another's for certain

It’s Thursday afternoon and we’re in Barcelona, sipping cold sugar-free energy drinks by the sea. Tonight, we’ll be reviewing sets for The Indiependent, Beth’s entertainment zine. We’re legitimately working – sure, maybe using the notes app rather than reporter’s notepads – even if it doesn’t look like work from the outside.

We’re those people. The annoying ones who are somewhere else midweek. Not on annual leave. Not out of office. Just out there.

But here’s the truth: we don’t have job security. We don’t have predictable salaries or pensions or career ladders to climb. We have inboxes full of uncommissioned pitches, tabs of unfinished projects, and have to make a daily decision to keep on going.

But what we do have is agency. And for us, right now, that means more than security ever could.

---

There’s this trap a lot of people fall into. The idea that once you have enough money, then you can start living. Then you can take risks. Then you can say yes to adventure.

But the truth is, most of us aren’t actually waiting for more money. We’re waiting for permission.

Permission to feel like our choices are valid. Permission to pursue the thing that doesn’t guarantee an outcome. Permission to stop asking, “Is this allowed?” and start asking, “Is this mine?”

Security is having enough. Agency is knowing what to do with it.

---

That’s not to say money doesn’t matter. It does. More money solves money problems. But more agency – more of that inner sense that you are happening to life, not just being dragged along by it – solves something deeper.

Because even when you get the raise or the client or the sale, you still have to decide what to do with your extra income.

Beth and I talk a lot about this idea of time as a currency. Not in the productivity bro way – but in the Oliver Burkeman, Four Thousand Weeks kind of way. That our lives aren’t built from grand plans but from how we spend our mornings. What we say yes to. What we notice. What we prioritise.

You get around 4,000 weeks in a lifetime. And most people don’t realise they’re spending them waiting. Waiting for someone to choose them. Waiting for certainty. Waiting for it to feel like the right time.

But the right time might never come. You might have to claim it. You might have to create it.

---

A few months ago, Beth and I wrote about the questions we were afraid to ask.

What if this never gets better? What if we stay stuck? What if this is as good as it gets?

But being in Barcelona reminds me: there’s another question, too.

What if we’re already further along than we think?

Not because we’ve “made it” – we haven’t. We still flinch at our bank balances some days. Still worry we’re making a mess of it. Still question if we’re deluded.

But we chose this. We backed ourselves. We found a way to make it work. We built trust in our own resourcefulness – and with that trust came freedom.

So maybe that’s the invitation.

To stop chasing stability as a fixed point. To stop holding your breath for when things feel safe. To stop asking if your dream is realistic and start asking if it’s actually yours rather than someone else’s.

---

Final thought: You don’t need a promotion to feel powerful. You don’t need a full savings account to feel secure. You don’t need a five-year plan to move forward.

You need proof that you can back yourself. You need evidence that you’re already doing it. You need agency, not permission.

And if you’ve forgotten what that feels like? Start here. Start small. Start now.

The summer could be anything. So could you.

And that’s it from me. What did you think of this week’s newsletter, what should we cover next – I’d love to know @coachjackmann

Much love
Jack x